My neighbor passed away yesterday morning....

We have known Mary since the time our house was being built next door to her. At that time Mary was still working, but very close to retirement, a rather young retirement. Mary never got married, had kids and has suffered family loss as much as I have really. She just had one sister at all left in her life. She lives an hour away from here. Mary was set in her ways, making the inside of her house showcase worthy, as well as working to do the same to the outside. She cleaned and worked inside and outside of the house in the upkeeping night and day. And most afternoons in the summer, you could find Mary outside on the driveway, sunning.

We have had many a run in with Mary. She expected that if her yard was leafless in the fall, that ours should be as well--never mind what personal matters we had going on that may have prevented us from keeping a leafless lawn at that time. All Mary had was her possessions. She had no one to love or nurture, or watch after at that time. I wished back then I could see that was why she was the way she was. I remember being pregnant with Benjamin and her coming over, talking about our lawn, getting really mad. My stomach started actually cramping up as I was hyperventilating with tears and all I could think was....."if YOU send me into a premature labor...I swear I'll.....:-X..." That was one of many run ins. Let me now tell you who was the one person to change this woman's heart. This person came into her life, and made her realize that she *could* have someone to love and watch over, if not but at times.

That special person would be my oldest, Andrew. He had to have been like 4 years old. When Mary would lay out and sun, Andrew would be found many a day going over there to talk, to get her mail, to help her in the yard, etc. This past summer, I saw Andrew and his friend down the street, Michael, Andrew sitting on the edge of Mary's chase lounge and Michael on the driveway, playing a card game with her. <3 It was through those years of gentle child-like ministering to Mary that made her a more gentle soul, kinder, not as quick to anger. During this time period, Mary retired from her job and was looking forward to a relaxing rest of her life.

This past Thanksgiving, Mary found out she had breast cancer. A week or so later, she had the surgery to remove that breast. When I saw her right after Christmas, she was walking around outside slow, saying she was feeling pretty good. Yet, then told me that she would be having to undergo chemo soon, saying the cancer was in the lymph nodes.

Monday night, Andrew came and got me, telling me that there were two ambulances outside. They were facing the other next door neighbor's house, which had me scared too. I know Elizabeth had been having back issues. So I fly outside to find out that it was Mary they were there for. By the time I got outside, Mary was loaded into the back of the ambulance. Another neighbor down the street, Vicki, was there, telling me that Mary was bleeding out through her bowels. We ALL thought it was probably some sort of reaction to the chemo. Now I wonder...was it? Did a doctor MISS the probability that cancer was more widespread through her body...to her bowels? It will probably be an answer we will never know.

Mary died yesterday morning at Civista Hospital Center. She was to go from the ER to ICU. She never made that trip. She passed away from a bowel rupture. She died from what my uncle died from. :-( Mary's sister is so ripped apart from this and is alone to plan everything. Amy, who lives across from us and is the mom of the daughter that was in front of me during my accident, came over to tell me all this news yesterday early afternoon. She was talking about taking up a collection for a flower arrangement. I told her to PLEASE let me know what I can do to help her and Mary's sister. Amy is offering to help her sister in any way that is needed. I want to do what I can too. She cannot do all that alone, and that goes way beyond the financial aspect. I would have charged a million dollars on a credit card if I had to during that time I was faced with the planning of yet another funeral. Not about the money, it's about keeping sane and trying to let yourself grieve some (even though there really is NO time, trust me LOL), and most importantly, letting others help you.

I do not know Mary's sister's name, but the Lord does. I ask for prayers for her and for any of us who will be trying to help her through this difficult time. The boys took the news better than expected. I know Andrew has to be tired of death at such a young age already. Yes, we get it, it is a part of life--but still, wow.